BP Blog

Make new friends ... forget the old?

by Julia Borst

Remember your very first day of college?  You were probably a little nervous about leaving home for the first time and having to make all new friends, but you knew that everyone else in your class was in the same boat as you were.  You knew that people most likely had not already developed friendships and established groups, so the process of befriending a bunch of new people was not quite so daunting.  You made new friends, and now you couldn’t be happier.

Imagine what would it would be like if you had to start all over.  How would you feel, knowing that people have already made friends and established groups?  How would it make you feel as you tried to find your niche?

You might say “Hah!  Preposterous!  My friends aren’t going anywhere.”  That’s fantastic, and I congratulate you on having found such great people to spend your time with, but I ask you to imagine.  Imagine that something outlandish happened, and your friends are no longer at Adrian College.  Maybe aliens came and abducted your friends as a sort of science experiment – they wanted to see how you would function without your friends’ support.  They wanted to see if you would fall apart or if you would move on and make new friends – grow stronger.  What would you do?  Maybe your friends all had family emergencies and had to leave – permanently.  Would you accept that they’re gone and move on, or would you wallow in the past, wishing that they were still with you?

Now, I wouldn’t ask you to think about all of these things if I weren’t willing to describe what I would do in this situation.  To be honest, I think I might wallow in self-pity for a little while.  The sort of “Why me?” self-pity.  I even think I might be a little bit lost for a while.  But I think after a while I would go out and try to find new friends.  I would talk to people before class, start conversations when I see other people in my dorm and join new clubs.

To put it simply, if an alien were to steal my friends, I would (of course) try to get them back, but if that proved impossible, or they didn’t want to come back to Adrian for fear that there would be a repeat alien abduction, I would put my best foot forward and make new friends.  I would be a little anxious about fitting into a new group, and it would probably stress me out to have to make all-new friends, but I would do it, and I would do it well.